Who is The Manipulator?

“When you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him.”

“You can’t do anything to change a manipulator you can only change yourself and drop that hook!”

First of all let us relax (or not…) we are all manipulated by the society we belong to through the fashion industry the magazines our teachers our parents our ‘lovers’ our children our managers etc. Everything is fine and we do not complain about it as long as we do not know or we feel good about it… or as long as we do not come across a better feeling.

I mean if we are in a cage and we are transferred in a place where we suddenly perceive to have more space … even if it is just a bigger cage we will feel better.

I can hear you are thinking you would rather be out of the cage but that is not true: most of us enjoy a comfort zone and do not want to be challenged all the time on everything which would be life out of a cage, life actually.

One can see manipulation is very subjective.

We can also notice that a good manipulator has no interest in making us feel bad because people are necessary tools in his/her plan. At some point he/she will even make them feel good out of pure pragmatism: “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”.

So basically if a manipulator – whoever plays eventually this role in your life at the moment - makes you feel bad you can assume that your manipulator is not only bad but also ill. And unless it is your job to treat this illness - I mean unless you are paid for - I recommend you to step back and consider seriously what is ill in yourself. In other words how come you ended up affected by somebody ill?

Remember that the manipulator just ‘knows what moves you’ and he/she uses your expectation to get something related to from him/her. If you feel bad it is just because he/she presses the button ‘you do not deserve something or not yet’. But this button is actually YOURS: YOU are the source of the belief that you do not deserve something or not yet, you were feeling bad about it originally he/she just noticed it.

We do have to know ourselves BEFORE anybody else and list our beliefs related to what we think we do not deserve or not yet.

And we will quickly face that it is the usual need for respect and/or recognition that derives from ‘we don’t feel good enough lovable enough pretty enough clever enough perfect enough rich enough' and so on. One can see that it has nothing to do with ‘a’ specific person out there we just keep on comparing ourselves and we could seek respect and recognition from anybody else around … Ideally from ourselves!

We actually owe to ourselves the respect and recognition we are seeking from outside.

Whatever we need in life we cannot keep on asking it from people who do not have to provide it actually unless they expect something from us and the deal is clear, why would they? Why would somebody else than us have so much power over us?

Our biggest manipulator is inside us. As long as we do not know ourselves, our fears and beliefs drive us unconsciously and we remain in danger to meet their manifestations outside and call them ‘manipulators’.